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if you had to be HANDCUFFED TO ONE OF THESE PEOPLE….?

March 26th, 2011

WHO WOULD IT BE AND WHY????

Britney Spears (coo koo)
Mike Tyson (ex boxing champ, bit off a guys ear, chomp)
Pat Robertson (religious zealot)
Rob Zombie (devil worshiping heavy metal psycho)
Snoop Dogg (porn making rap thug)
Paula Abdul (delusional, incoherent A. Idol judge)
Bill Oreilly (big mouthed fox news host. no spin zone ya pinhead!)
Dr. Kevorkian (suicide happy loon)
Andrew Dice Clay (x rated comedian, little miss muffet sat on a tuffet……!)
Jerry Springer (host of the worst show ever, total dirt bag)

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Technorati Tags: andrew dice clay, bill oreilly, boxing champ, chomp, dr kevorkian, fox news, jerry springer, judge bill, koo, little miss muffet, loon, mike tyson, pat robertson, paula abdul, pinhead, religious zealot, rob zombie, snoop dogg, thug, tuffet

Posted in Andrew Fox |

Tags: andrew dice clay, bill oreilly, boxing champ, chomp, dr kevorkian, fox news, jerry springer, judge bill, koo, little miss muffet, loon, mike tyson, pat robertson, paula abdul, pinhead, religious zealot, rob zombie, snoop dogg, thug, tuffet |

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like sports and the team?

August 24th, 2010

Famous Sports Quotes

Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: "I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me."

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the ‘Skins say "I’d run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl," Matt Millen of the Raiders said, "To win, I’d run over Joe’s mom too."

Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996: "Nobody in football should be called a genius.. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded, "Because she is too damn ugly to kiss goodbye."

Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh: "I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes."

Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements: "I play football. I’m not trying to be a professor. The tests don’t seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven’t been through in school."

Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton."

Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker: "That’s so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my @#%#%@ clothes."

Shaquille O’Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to."

Shaquille O’Neal, on his lack of championships: "I’ve won at every level, except college and pro."

Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."

Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team’s 7-27 record: "We can’t win at home. We can’t win on the road. As general manager, I just can’t figure out where else to play." (1992)

Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back." (1981)

Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?" (1966)

Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn’s football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet." (1991)

Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I’m not allowed to comment on lousy officiating." (1986)

Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons: "It’s basically the same, just darker." (1991)

Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I’d get shot." (1996)

Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘Coach, I don’t know and I don’t care.’" (1991)

Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F’s and one D: "Son, looks to me like you’re spending too much time on one subject." (1987)

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Posted in Dan Kennedy |

Tags: andre dawson, basketball player, bob costas, boxing trainer, bum phillips, chicago blackhawks, chicago cubs, chicago cubs outfielder, football commentator, george rogers, joe jacoby, joe theismann, lou duva, matt millen, mike tyson, norman einstein, promoter don king, shaquille o neal, stu grimson, visit to greece |

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Have You Read Any Of These Short Books?

August 11th, 2010

FRENCH WAR HEROES
by Jacques Chirac

MY BEAUTY SECRETS
by Janet Reno

HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE
by John Denver

HOW TO HUNT
by Dick Cheney

MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS
by Dan Marino

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
By Hillary Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman

MY WILD YEARS
by Al Gore

AMELIA EARHART’S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

AMERICA ‘S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS DETROIT: A Travel Guide

A COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J. Kevorkian

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
by Ellen de Generes

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson

SPOTTED OWL RECIPES
by the EPA

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O. J. Simpson

BRIDGE TRAVEL
by Ted Kennedy

MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton with introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson

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Technorati Tags: al gore, amelia earhart, beauty secrets, bill gates, bridge travel, dating etiquette, dennis rodman, dick cheney, french war, hillary clinton, jacques chirac, janet reno, mike tyson, motivational speeches, o j simpson, personal hygiene, rev jesse jackson, super bowl highlights, ted kennedy, war heroes

Posted in Dan Kennedy |

Tags: al gore, amelia earhart, beauty secrets, bill gates, bridge travel, dating etiquette, dennis rodman, dick cheney, french war, hillary clinton, jacques chirac, janet reno, mike tyson, motivational speeches, o j simpson, personal hygiene, rev jesse jackson, super bowl highlights, ted kennedy, war heroes |

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What are some of your favorite sports sound bites of all time and why?

May 19th, 2010

Memorable sound bites can occur at anytime in sports. What are some of your favorites? Mines are:

10) Allen Iverson’s "Practice" speech
9) Herm Edwards "You Wire Transfer Florence Savings Bank play to win the game" speech
Mike Tyson’s "I’m gonna eat your children" speech
7) Barry Bonds "You got skeletons in your closet" speech
6) Bobby Knight’s "game face" speech where he begins to make faces
5) Bill Callahan’s "Dumbest football team in America" speech
4) Jim Mora’s "Playoff" speech
3) Randy Johnson’s "Don’t talk back to me..I’ll show you what I’m really like" speech on his first day in New York as a Yankee
2) Kellen Winslow II’s "F’N Soldier" speech
1) Dennis Green’s "The Bears are who we thought they were" speech

Let’s hear yours!

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Posted in Jim Edwards |

Tags: allen iverson, barry bonds, bears, bill callahan, bobby knight, dennis green, football team, game face, herm edwards, jim mora, kellen winslow, kellen winslow ii, mike tyson, quot, randy johnson, skeletons in your closet, soldier, sound bites, sports, yankee |

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