Posts Tagged ‘john kerry’

Did you hear about my new Lexus?

PostDateIcon August 9th, 2010

I bought a new Lexus last month; you know the one that parks itself? But, I had to return it to the dealer the next day because I couldn’t get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie." he continued and "On the Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia on My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, Soggy Bottom Boys," I’d get beautiful bluegrass music, and if I said, "Beatles" I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "A@@ Holes!"

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

I LOVE this car!


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I Bought A New Car And The Radio Doesn't Work?

PostDateIcon August 7th, 2010

I bought a new Lexus SC430 and returned to the dealer the next day because I couldn’t get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, "Beethoven," I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "As*sHoles!"

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.


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On the Road Again (possibly offensive to sensitive liberals)?

PostDateIcon July 29th, 2010

I bought a new high-end car and returned to the dealer the next day complaining that I couldn’t figure out how the radio worked.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Watch this!" he said, "Nelson!"

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he said, and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, "Beethoven," I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles" or "Stones" I’d get one of their classic songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. "A-s-s-holes!" I yelled.

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

Damn, I LOVE my new car!
The nice thing about living in the USA is, we can tell jokes like this and not get shot.


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Is there really accuracy in this parable?

PostDateIcon July 25th, 2010

The Ant and The Grasshopper

OLD VERSION:

>> The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies
out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of the shiveri ng grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
>>
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It’s Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.

>> Ted Kennedy & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Dan Rather that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proport ionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
>>
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican


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Can anyone really dispute this?

PostDateIcon July 11th, 2010

2008 Democrat National Convention
Denver , Colorado
Agenda for the 2008 Democrat National Convention (Just Released)
7:00 pm Opening flag burning
7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and
Al Sharpton
7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet – Al Gore
8:15 pm Gay Wedding – Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals – John Kerry
9:00 pm Free Saddam Rally – Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund
- Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay – Sean Penn
11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs – William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers –
Howard Dean
12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" – Presented to Dan Rather by
Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton (yes, this is the
ticket)
1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home
ck4829 Thank you. That’s a good one also and had been posted on this forum some time ago.

Loosen up people.. It’s a joke, and a political one.. okay?


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Liberal media is just follow the leader, all the same?

PostDateIcon July 7th, 2010

RUSH: After the joint press conference with President Bush and Karl Rove, it’s over, and Bush is making his way to a helicopter or wherever, and Bill Plante of CBS shouts out, "If Rove is so smart, how come you lost Congress?" They can ask whatever they want, but you know, had I been there, had I been in the press corps, you know what I would have said? "Hey, Plante, if you’re so smart, how come Katie Couric is doing the CBS Evening News?" Ingrates. I tell you, this is Rove derangement syndrome.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Let’s go to the audio sound bites. Drive-By meanness is over the top on Karl Rove. The vitriol and hatred was just dripping from Drive-By coverage last night. The level of meanness that you will hear in their voices is staggering. We have Terry Moran of ABC, Chris Lehman of Congressional Quarterly — this is a montage coming up — Chris Matthews, Jessica Yellin at CNN, David Wright at ABC, James Moore at PMSNBC, David Gergen, David "Rodham" Gergen from… Well, he rotates. I guess he’s at TIME now, but he goes from the Kennedy School to Newsweek to CNN to wherever. Jim Axelrod of CBS. Dan Abrams of PMSNBC. They’re all talking here about Karl Rove’s departure.

MORAN : Divisiveness! Anger! Ruthlessness! That’s what you call "Rovian politics."

LEHMAN: The news to most Americans here isn’t so much that Karl Rove is leaving, as that Karl Rove has a family.

MATTHEWS: He was knighting the guy, and he said he was going to take care of this bum.

YELLIN: The dark prince of the Bush administration.

WRIGHT: Many saw his fingerprints in the attack on John McCain’s character; 2004 witnessed a similar sustained attack on John Kerry’s war record

MOORE: There is a certain part of this guy that is pathological.

GERGEN: An evil one who manipulated politics…

AXELROD: Karl Rove is packing his bags …and leaving the party in tatters.

ABRAMS: If Karl Rove had been a professional wrestler, they might have called him The Constitutional Crippler.

RUSH: (laughing) You just have to laugh at this. You get offended and mad at it, but after that, you just have to laugh at it. Chris Lehman is the guy who said, he’s from Congressional Quarterly, "The news to most Americans here isn’t so much that Karl Rove is leaving, as that Karl Rove has a family." Now, I want to make a point about all this. The only reason these people hate Rove is because he outsmarted them at nearly every turn, and they hate that. You know, power is theirs by birthrate. Rove, in their minds, is the one person that came along and took it away from them and kept it away from them for all these years, and they just despise him. They are the smartest people in the room, and to be outsmarted by rubes like Rove from Texas, and Bush, just offends them all to hell. They’re blaming Rove for the swift boat "attacks" now. They’re blaming Rove for the swift boat "attacks" on Kerry. Nobody ever disproved any of the allegations made by the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. The problem that the libs have with that is, you don’t dare tell the truth about them.

That’s the violation here. You don’t run commercials about the truth regarding Democrats, John Kerry, or whoever. They are immune from this. You have to understand their attitude. They’re high and they’re exalted. They live on the mountaintop, and they are not to be held accountable, and they are want to be put under scrutiny, certainly not by the opposition, certainly not by conservatives. But the point I want to make here is to show you just how stupid, dumb, uninformed, and forgetful these people are. If Rove was in charge of everything, can we go back to the first month of the Bush presidency in 2001? Does anybody remember the "new tone"? Bush came to town determined to end the bickering and partisanship that had been featured in eight years of Clinton. As such, he let Ted Kennedy write the education bill. He went along with a whole bunch of liberal ideas, courted liberals, had them up to the White House. He brought the Kennedy clan up to watch some movie about the Cuban Missile Crisis or some such thing. He just went out of his way.

Do they think Rove was involved in that at all? If they do think Rove was involved in it, do they think it was sincere and genuine, or do you think they were being used? Because I’m hear to tell you that it was sincere, it was genuine. Bush had succeeded in bringing Democrats and Republicans together when he was governor of Texas. He really thought he could do it here — and Rove was with him in Texas — and look what it got him! Look what the new tone got him. Look what joining on immigration got him. Look at the way Rove is being discussed today after all of the levels of "outreach." George Bush and Karl Rove do not criticize these people publicly at all. They are not partisan. Most of their Bush supporters wish they would, wish they would fight back, wish they would respond to all of these insulting allegations about Bush lying and people dying and "Bush is Hitler" and Bush is dumb and Bush is a loser. He doesn’t talk about the Democrats that way, and neither does Karl Rove. All they did was go out and beat them. All they did was getting Sam Alito and John Roberts on the Supreme Court.

By the way, you can talk about Iraq all you want, but that issue, that Supreme Court and getting rid of the quasi-conservative majority and making sure it doesn’t grow, that’s as much on the minds of people like Chuck "Schemer" as the Iraq war or any other issue is. If they lose the White House again and a Republican president has aim at two or three more Supreme Court nominations, they are dead in the water for a generation or two, at least. Make no mistake about it. Rove and Bush got two guys on the court, Alito and Roberts, but they never talk about the Democrats the way you hear these media people talking about Karl Rove, the way that you hear them talking about George W. Bush. So for them to sit there and say divisiveness, anger, ruthlessness? He was "the dark prince" of the Bush administration? This descends from the hubris and from the elitism and from the arrogance of liberals who believe themselves he above being beaten, of being immune from criticism and so forth. Last night on Nightline Terry Moran interviewed Donna Brazile, and Moran says, "Did Rove play dirty?"

BRAZILE: I would say that Karl has gotten away with things that many of us on the Democratic side could never get away with.

MORAN: Like what?

BRAZILE: Well, for example, we couldn’t pit white evangelical Christians against gays. We couldn’t pit gun owners against, you know, blacks — and yet Karl could find a way to pit one group after another.

RUSH: Whoa! Normally I have some respect for Donna Brazile, but this is just absurd, to say that Karl Rove and George W. Bush are divisive — blacks against, what, gun owners? Ladies and gentlemen, page one of the Democrat Party playbook is: Keep people divided, fighting with each other, angry, resenting each other; make sure that there is constant crisis and angst; make sure there is no unity on whatever the issue. Wedge everything. Cause a gap to exist between everything. There’s no desire for unity whatsoever, unless their opponents decide to change their principles and drop their principles and join the Democrats. We’re listening to an alternative universe here. Here’s another one. This is like Mark Halperin. He used to write The Note on ABC’s website. He’s on The NewsHour with Jim Lehrer. He’s also on there with David "Rodham" Gergen. Jim Lehrer asked the question: "Is some of the glow gone, Mark? How would you characterize how this man should be remembered?"

HALPERIN: Someone who wanted to bring conservative change and felt that it was more important to win power and try to make conservative change than it was to seek bipartisan compromise.

RUSH: Man, oh, man! I mean, if you’re talking about the Clintons, that’s a brilliant comment. Seek and destroy their enemies is exactly what they do! What is this business of compromise? This guy just makes my point. The clichés that these guys live with! "ssomeone who wanted to bring conservative change, felt that it was more important to win power. More important try to make conservative change than it was to seek bipartisan compromise." When a liberal says, "It’s important for bipartisan compromise," what a liberal means is, "You conservatives better drop your principles and agree with us and let us have our way, because your way is conservatism and that stinks and that’s a threat to us and you don’t even really exist. We not even going to give you the time of day. We’re not going to debate you on it because it’s an illegitimate way of thinking. We’re the majority. We’re the smart people. We’re the elites!" So Rove, yeah, tried to win — not only tried, did. You know what’s funny about this, in addition to everything I have brilliantly laid out, if they think this has been a conservative administration, whew! Can you imagine what they would do if somebody like me showed up or if somebody like Ronald Reagan came back? If they think this administration has been conservative… Rove and these guys went out of their way, as I say, via the "new tone," to join Democrats in a whole bunch of issues, in a whole bunch of ways.

Do you remember the Medicare part B entitlement, this new prescription drug entitlement for the seasoned citizens? Now, under normal circumstances, the Democrats would love that. "Why, that would be great. Why, another government entitlement that we can never change that’s it’s always going to get more money, and it goes to the senior citizens, and they vote in big numbers!" They hated it. They despised it. You know why? Because it wasn’t theirs! They didn’t think they’d be able to get credit for it, and they don’t want conservatives or Republicans getting credit for big government entitlements. Frankly, we conservatives don’t want that kind of thing. I got in a long argument with Tom DeLay about Medicare part B because he insisted that it was not that big of an entitlement, that it brought market forces into prescription prices. He’s right about that, but it was still is a new entitlement. It was still something, under normal circumstances, that Democrats would have loved. So who is it that’s concerned with the welfare of the people and doing right, or who’s obsessed with getting credit and having victory and winning and so forth? They wouldn’t join Bush on anything. Other than on those issues where they were scared not to, and the big one being the Iraq war. Now, Gergen was asked a question by Jim Lehrer. "Do you agree with that, David, that all Rove wanted to do, go out there and destroy his enemies?"

GERGEN: There are many, many Americans who feel, "Wait a minute, this was not artist of the smear, uh, this is a guy who played politics of destruction. This is a guy who played hardball right from the beginning."

RUSH: I swear, folks, it’s like when you go read these liberal blogs, these kook fringe Democrat base members, they’re all upset because their elected officials aren’t mean enough. They’re afraid of Bush. They’re not attacking. (Laughs) They ought to be thrilled! If that’s what they really want, if they just want to be bad-mouthing, if they want their elected leaders just to be bad-mouthing the president, my God! They should be happy! They should be euphoric. That’s all the Democrats have been doing.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: This is our old buddy Howard Fineman, who was on PMS last night saying this about Rove and Bush.

FINEMAN: In many ways Bush and Rove have won, because as the Democrats are conceding quietly, if not openly, it’s going to be hard to yank all of the troops out of Iraq — and as the Democrats are showing, they’re probably not going to have the guts to abolish George Bush’s tax cuts. So in certain respects, Bush and Rove have won.

RUSH: Certain respects? Who’s been in the White House the last six and a half years? (Laughing.) That’s what eats them.

BREAK TRANSCRIPT

RUSH: Get this headline from USA Today: "To Democrats, Rove ‘More Dangerous’ Outside the West Wing — Karl Rove may be leaving his roles as hard-nosed strategist and bookish policy expert in the Bush White House, but that doesn’t mean Democrats can rest easy. ‘Karl outside the White House is more dangerous to Democrats than Karl inside the White House,’ said Democratic strategist Donna Brazile, who was Al Gore’s campaign manager. Her view: He’ll have lots more free time now to dream up ways to boost President Bush’s standing, ‘rebrand’ the GOP and conquer the 2008 electoral map." Do these guys have it on the brain or what? They are literally, utterly paranoid, obsessed with rage and hatred for Karl Rove, which I’m going to tell you what it all boils down to. That quote from Donna Brazile sums it up for me. They are scared to death of Karl Rove, and they have been for all of these years. When you listen to these people talk about Rove on television, I want you to understand the prism through which they see the man. They are scared to death of him.


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I’ve got a bracelet too. From, Sergeant, uh, uh, from the mother of, uh, Sergeant, Ryan David Jopek.”?

PostDateIcon June 22nd, 2010

‘I’ve Got a Bracelet, Too’
Photo of Matthew Sheffield.
By Matthew Sheffield (Bio | Archive)
September 27, 2008 – 03:01 ET

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In recent memory, every presidential debate eventually distills down into a few catchphrases. Al Gore became known for his sighs and love of lockboxes. John Kerry actually served in Vietnam. Dan Quayle was no Jack Kennedy.

Barack Obama has a bracelet, too.

That inartful comeback will likely filter out through the political ether in the days ahead. What might not filter through our partisan press is that shortly after pointing out that, like John McCain, he sports a bracelet given to him by a military family, Barack Obama had to stop and look down find out the name of the soldier he’s honoring.

That soldier is Ryan David Jopek. Barack Obama doesn’t appear to have known that fact.

Here’s his complete line:

"Jim, let me just make a point. I’ve got a bracelet too. From, Sergeant, uh, uh, from the mother of, uh, Sergeant, Ryan David Jopek."

Had a Republican, say Sarah Palin, made this gaffe, who wants to bet that we wouldn’t hear this clip repeated endlessly during the post-debate spin shows and in the days ahead? How much would the sincerity of our hypothetical Republican politician be called into question.

I didn’t hear it discussed once in the post-debate coverage. Did you?


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Traders of the USA? Who else is guilty of treason?

PostDateIcon June 20th, 2010

John Kerry, Al Gore,Hillary Clinton, Barbra Boxer Rocky Anderson, Allen Comes, Harry Reid, Michael Moore ,Ted Kennedy ,Cindy Sheehan Jimmy Carter Dan Rather should all be hung along with the rest of liberal America


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