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Posts Tagged ‘dan rather’

You might be a Liberal if?

August 17th, 2010

You think the rich can get richer off people who have no money.

If you have ever used the phrase "protecting prisoner’s rights".

You’ve ever referred to the Military/Industrial Complex during a
conversation.

You file suit against the mall rent-a-cops for posting signs stating
that your bags are subject to inspection.

You’ve ever argued that "you can’t legislate morality".

Referred to the Founding Fathers as "those aristocratic, chauvinistic,
lily white, slave owning, land stealing oppressors of indigenous
personnel".

You’ve ever said "But look at all the good Ted Kennedy has done for
this country!"

You’ve ever stared at a wall and said "Now THAT is definitely man’s
inhumanity to man!"

You argue that the only flaw with Marx is that Russia was an agrarian
society.

You’ve ever called the meter maid a Fascist.

You argue that the Second Amendment only refers to Federally organized
militias.

You view Jane Fonda as a courageous heroine with strong convictions.

After looking at your pay stub you can still say "America is
undertaxed."

You’ve ever said "We really should call the ACLU about this."

You came of age in the ’60s and don’t remember.

You believe it because "Dan Rather wouldn’t lie about something this
important."

You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a
tax hike because…"

You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "is a victim of Draconian
budget cuts."

You’ve ever argued that with just 1 more year of welfare that person
will turn it around and get off drugs.

You are outraged that Baseball Players make millions and the poor clerk
at the unemployment office only makes 28 bucks an hour doing such good
work.

You want government to find alternative energy sources but lobby for the
rights of one Alaskan bird to live in its preferred tree.

You believe our government must do it because Europe does.

You think socialism will catch on once society has evolved.

You’ve ever stated "How does what he does in his personal life have
any bearing on doing his job?"

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Technorati Tags: agrarian society, alternative energy sources, baseball players, budget cuts, chauvinistic, dan rather, founding fathers, heroine, jane fonda, lily white, meter maid, military industrial complex, militias, oppressors, pay stub, second amendment, tax hike, ted kennedy, unemployment office, white slave

Posted in Dan Kennedy |

Tags: agrarian society, alternative energy sources, baseball players, budget cuts, chauvinistic, dan rather, founding fathers, heroine, jane fonda, lily white, meter maid, military industrial complex, militias, oppressors, pay stub, second amendment, tax hike, ted kennedy, unemployment office, white slave |

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Did you hear about my new Lexus?

August 9th, 2010

I bought a new Lexus last month; you know the one that parks itself? But, I had to return it to the dealer the next day because I couldn’t get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie." he continued and "On the Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia on My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, Soggy Bottom Boys," I’d get beautiful bluegrass music, and if I said, "Beatles" I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "A@@ Holes!"

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

I LOVE this car!

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Technorati Tags: al gore, barbara streisand, bluegrass music, dan rather, dixie chicks, french national anthem, georgia on my mind, harry reid, jane fonda, john kerry, michael moore, nancy pelosi, quot quot, ray charles, red light, soggy bottom boys, spoons, tambourine, ted kennedy, willie nelson

Posted in Dan Kennedy |

Tags: al gore, barbara streisand, bluegrass music, dan rather, dixie chicks, french national anthem, georgia on my mind, harry reid, jane fonda, john kerry, michael moore, nancy pelosi, quot quot, ray charles, red light, soggy bottom boys, spoons, tambourine, ted kennedy, willie nelson |

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I Bought A New Car And The Radio Doesn't Work?

August 7th, 2010

I bought a new Lexus SC430 and returned to the dealer the next day because I couldn’t get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, "Beethoven," I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "As*sHoles!"

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

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Technorati Tags: al gore, barbara streisand, dan rather, dixie chicks, french national anthem, georgia on my mind, harry reid, jane fonda, john kerry, lexus sc430, michael moore, nancy pelosi, quot quot, ray charles, red light, scotch, spoons, tambourine, ted kennedy, willie nelson

Posted in Dan Kennedy |

Tags: al gore, barbara streisand, dan rather, dixie chicks, french national anthem, georgia on my mind, harry reid, jane fonda, john kerry, lexus sc430, michael moore, nancy pelosi, quot quot, ray charles, red light, scotch, spoons, tambourine, ted kennedy, willie nelson |

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On the Road Again (possibly offensive to sensitive liberals)?

July 29th, 2010

I bought a new high-end car and returned to the dealer the next day complaining that I couldn’t figure out how the radio worked.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Watch this!" he said, "Nelson!"

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he said, and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, "Beethoven," I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles" or "Stones" I’d get one of their classic songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. "A-s-s-holes!" I yelled.

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

Damn, I LOVE my new car!
The nice thing about living in the USA is, we can tell jokes like this and not get shot.

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Tags: al gore, barbara streisand, classic songs, dan rather, dixie chicks, french national anthem, georgia on my mind, harry reid, jane fonda, john kerry, living in the usa, michael moore, nancy pelosi, nice thing, quot quot, ray charles, spoons, tambourine, ted kennedy, willie nelson |

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Is there really accuracy in this parable?

July 25th, 2010

The Ant and The Grasshopper

OLD VERSION:

>> The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies
out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN show up to provide pictures of the shiveri ng grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
>>
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It’s Not Easy Being Green."

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper’s sake.

>> Ted Kennedy & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Dan Rather that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act," retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proport ionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

Hillary gets her old law firm to represent the grasshopper in a
defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried before a panel of federal judges that Bill appointed from a list of single-parent welfare recipients.

The ant loses the case.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant’s food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant’s old house, crumbles around him because he doesn’t maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.
>>
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican

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Tags: cnn, dan rather, dances, demonstration, economic equity, eeoc, fair share, frog, grasshopper, jesse jackson, john kerry, laughs, moral of the story, nbc, news stations, old version, oprah, poor grasshopper, tax hike, ted kennedy |

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Obama potential appointees list?

June 30th, 2010

Secretary of Health and Child Safety, and “Transportation” Secretary – Ted Kennedy
Secretary of the Defense, Military and peace negotiations – Jane Fonda
President of the “ Proud Americans” club – Michelle Obama
Secretary of Fair and Accurate Media Coverage – Dan Rather

What other appointees do you know of?

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Tags: accurate media coverage, appointees, child safety, dan rather, defense military, health, jane fonda, michelle obama, peace negotiations, secretary of the defense, ted kennedy, transportation secretary |

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Traders of the USA? Who else is guilty of treason?

June 20th, 2010

John Kerry, Al Gore,Hillary Clinton, Barbra Boxer Rocky Anderson, Allen Comes, Harry Reid, Michael Moore ,Ted Kennedy ,Cindy Sheehan Jimmy Carter Dan Rather should all be hung along with the rest of liberal America

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Tags: al gore, barbra boxer, cindy sheehan, dan rather, harry reid, hillary clinton, jimmy carter, john kerry, michael moore, ted kennedy |

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