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I bought a new Lexus last month; you know the one that parks itself? But, I had to return it to the dealer the next day because I couldn’t get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie." he continued and "On the Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia on My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, Soggy Bottom Boys," I’d get beautiful bluegrass music, and if I said, "Beatles" I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "A@@ Holes!"

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

I LOVE this car!

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Technorati Tags: al gore, barbara streisand, bluegrass music, dan rather, dixie chicks, french national anthem, georgia on my mind, harry reid, jane fonda, john kerry, michael moore, nancy pelosi, quot quot, ray charles, red light, soggy bottom boys, spoons, tambourine, ted kennedy, willie nelson

I bought a new Lexus SC430 and returned to the dealer the next day because I couldn’t get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, "Beethoven," I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "As*sHoles!"

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

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Technorati Tags: al gore, barbara streisand, dan rather, dixie chicks, french national anthem, georgia on my mind, harry reid, jane fonda, john kerry, lexus sc430, michael moore, nancy pelosi, quot quot, ray charles, red light, scotch, spoons, tambourine, ted kennedy, willie nelson

I bought a new high-end car and returned to the dealer the next day complaining that I couldn’t figure out how the radio worked.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Watch this!" he said, "Nelson!"

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he said, and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, "Beethoven," I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles" or "Stones" I’d get one of their classic songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. "A-s-s-holes!" I yelled.

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

Damn, I LOVE my new car!
The nice thing about living in the USA is, we can tell jokes like this and not get shot.

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Technorati Tags: al gore, barbara streisand, classic songs, dan rather, dixie chicks, french national anthem, georgia on my mind, harry reid, jane fonda, john kerry, living in the usa, michael moore, nancy pelosi, nice thing, quot quot, ray charles, spoons, tambourine, ted kennedy, willie nelson

7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING

7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.

7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP – Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton

7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING – Darryl Hannah

7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET – Al Gore

8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING – Rosie O’Donnell

8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS – John Kerry

9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS – Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE – Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND – Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY -Sean Penn

11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS – William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS – Howard Dean

12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD – Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS – Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am NOMINATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA – Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

1:05 am CORONATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA

1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home.

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Technorati Tags: al gore, al sharpton, alec baldwin, barbara streisand, cindy sheehan, freedom fighters, howard dean, kidney transplant, mahmoud ahmadinejad, nancy pelosi, office affairs, pledge of allegiance, prayer and worship, rosie o donnell, satellite address, susan sarandon, ted kennedy, war criminals, william jefferson clinton, world trade towers

Other than the list below.

2008 Democrat National Convention
Schedule of Events

7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING
7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP – Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton
7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING – Darryl Hannah
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET – Al Gore
8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING – Rosie O’Donnell
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS – John Kerry
9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS – Cindy Sheehan and
Susan Sarandon
10:00 pm ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE – Alec Baldwin
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND –
Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY – Sean Penn
11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS – William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS – Howard
Dean
12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD – Presented to Dan Rather by
Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS – Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am NOMINATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA – Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
1:05 am CORONATION OF BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA
1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hilary home.

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Technorati Tags: al gore, al sharpton, alec baldwin, barbara streisand, cindy sheehan, democrat national convention, howard dean, kidney transplant, mahmoud ahmadinejad, nancy pelosi, office affairs, pledge of allegiance, prayer and worship, rosie o donnell, satellite address, susan sarandon, ted kennedy, war criminals, william jefferson clinton, world trade towers

2008 Democrat National Convention
Denver , Colorado
Agenda for the 2008 Democrat National Convention (Just Released)
7:00 pm Opening flag burning
7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and
Al Sharpton
7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet – Al Gore
8:15 pm Gay Wedding – Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals – John Kerry
9:00 pm Free Saddam Rally – Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund
- Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay – Sean Penn
11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs – William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers –
Howard Dean
12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" – Presented to Dan Rather by
Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton (yes, this is the
ticket)
1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home
ck4829 Thank you. That’s a good one also and had been posted on this forum some time ago.

Loosen up people.. It’s a joke, and a political one.. okay?

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Technorati Tags: al sharpton, barbara streisand, barney frank, cindy sheehan, democrat national convention, hillary rodham clinton, jessie jackson, john kerry, kidney transplant, mahmoud ahmadinejad, nancy pelosi, office affairs, pledge of allegiance, prayer and worship, satellite address, susan sarandon, ted kennedy, war criminals, william jefferson clinton, world trade towers