Archive for the ‘Dan Kennedy’ Category

Rate my fantasy team?

C-Geovany Soto

1B-Travis Hafner

2B-Robbie Cano

SS-Derek Jeter

3B-A-Rod

OF-Chris B Young

OF-Grady Sizemore

OF-Curtis Granderson

Bench- Kosuke Fukudome, Wilson Betemit, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Michael Bourn

SP-Brandon Webb

SP-Dan Haren

CL-Bobby Jenks

RP-Rafael Betancourt

P-Chris Young

P-Pat Neshek

P-Andy Petitte

Bench-Ian Kennedy, James Shields


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Do you remember these guys?

President John Kennedy had a known affair with actress Jayne Mansfield, and was ignored by the popular media.

President John Kennedy had a known affair with actress Marilyn Monroe, and was ignored by the popular media.

Bill Clinton raped Paula Jones.

Bill Clinton got blown by Monica Lewinsky.

Gavin Newsome, Mayor of San Fransisco had an affair with his best friend’s wife, while Newsome was separated from his.

Sen. Daniel Inouye. The 82-year-old Hawaii Democrat was accused in the 1990s by numerous women of sexual harassment. Democrats cast doubt on the allegations and the Senate Ethics Committee dropped its investigation.

Former Rep. Gus Savage. The Illinois Democrat was accused of fondling a Peace Corps volunteer in 1989 while on a trip to Africa. The House Ethics Committee decided against disciplinary action in 1990.

Rep. Barney Frank. The outspoken Massachusetts Democrat hired a male prostitute who ran a prostitution service from Frank’s residence in the 1980s. Only two Democrats in the House of Representatives voted to censure him in 1990.

Former Sen. Brock Adams. The late Washington Democrat was forced to stop campaigning after numerous accusations of drugging, assault and rape, the first surfacing in 1988.

Former Rep. Fred Richmond. This New York Democrat was arrested in 1978 for soliciting sex from a 16-year-old. He remained in Congress and won re-election—before eventually resigning in 1982 after pleading guilty to tax evasion and drug possession.

Former Rep. John Young. The late Texas Democrat increased the salary of a staffer after she gave in to his sexual advances. The congressman won re-election in 1976 but lost two years later.

Former Rep. Wayne Hays. The late Ohio Democrat hired an unqualified secretary reportedly for sexual acts. Although he resigned from Congress, the Democratic House leadership stalled in removing him from the Administration Committee in 1976.

Former Rep. Gerry Studds. He was censured for sexual relationship with underage male page in 1983. Massachusetts voters returned him to office for six more terms.

Former Rep. Mel Reynolds. The Illinois Democrat was convicted of 12 counts of sexual assault with a 16-year-old. President Bill Clinton pardoned him before leaving office.

Sen. Teddy Kennedy. The liberal Massachusetts senator testified in defense of nephew accused of rape, invoking his family history to win over the jury in 1991.

On July 14, 1983 the House Ethics Committee concluded that Rep. Dan Crane (R-Ill.) and Rep. Gerry Studds (D-Mass.) had engaged in sexual relationships with minors, specifically 17-year-old congressional pages. In Crane’s case, it was a 1980 relationship with a female page and in Studds’s case, it was a 1973 relationship with a male page. Both representatives admitted to the charges and the committee recommended reprimand for the two.

Congressman Mel Reynolds, the Democrat convicted of 12 charges, including sex with 16-year-old Beverly Heard and asking her to take pornographic photographs of a 15-year old, was indicted on August 21, 1994. ABC, the current scourge of congressional teen-sex scandals, reported nothing – until Reynolds was convicted a year later, on August 23, 1995. In fact, on May 13, 1994, ABC featured Reynolds in a "Person of the Week" speaking out in favor of two Chicago ladies fighting child molesters


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Have You Read Any Of These Short Books?

FRENCH WAR HEROES
by Jacques Chirac

MY BEAUTY SECRETS
by Janet Reno

HOW TO BUILD YOUR OWN AIRPLANE
by John Denver

HOW TO HUNT
by Dick Cheney

MY SUPER BOWL HIGHLIGHTS
by Dan Marino

THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
By Hillary Clinton

MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
by Osama Bin Laden

THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
by Bill Gates

THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
by Dennis Rodman

MY WILD YEARS
by Al Gore

AMELIA EARHART’S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC

AMERICA ‘S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS DETROIT: A Travel Guide

A COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
by Dr. J. Kevorkian

ALL THE MEN I HAVE LOVED BEFORE
by Ellen de Generes

GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
by Mike Tyson

SPOTTED OWL RECIPES
by the EPA

THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
by O. J. Simpson

BRIDGE TRAVEL
by Ted Kennedy

MY BOOK OF MORALS
by Bill Clinton with introduction by The Rev. Jesse Jackson


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Did you hear about my new Lexus?

I bought a new Lexus last month; you know the one that parks itself? But, I had to return it to the dealer the next day because I couldn’t get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

"Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie." he continued and "On the Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia on My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, Soggy Bottom Boys," I’d get beautiful bluegrass music, and if I said, "Beatles" I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "A@@ Holes!"

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

I LOVE this car!


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I Bought A New Car And The Radio Doesn't Work?

I bought a new Lexus SC430 and returned to the dealer the next day because I couldn’t get the radio to work.

The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Nelson," the salesman said to the radio.

The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

"Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, "Beethoven," I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles," I’d get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. I yelled, "As*sHoles!"

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.


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I know this is kinda stupid but…?

Don’t you think the Lions should be the best team in the NFL?
I mean think about it. They have a great player at every positon.

QB Jon Kitna
RB Kevin Jones
FB Cory Scheslinger
WR Roy Williams & Mike Furrey
TE Dan Campbell
C Dominic Raiola
O. Line Eh, screw the O. Line
CB Dre Bly
S Kenoy Kennedy
LB Ernie Sims <—- ROOKIE OF THE YEAR
D. Line Cory Redding & Shaun Rogers ( If he wasn’t injured)
K Jason Hanson <——- One of the greatest kickers in the history of the NFL
P Nick Harris <—— Has tons of potential to become one of the greatest punters

But, Wire Transfer Connecticut Community Bank the only problem with this team is Mike Martz. He never lets Kevin Jones run the ball.


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    How good would this team be?

    A series of questions posted today has inspired me to create this all-time team. How good would it be?

    C: Gary Carter, 1984 Expos
    1B: Von Hayes, 1987 Phillies
    2B: Bill Regan, 1927 Red Sox
    3B: Howard Johnson, 1988 Mets
    SS: Sparky Adams, 1931 Cardinals
    LF: Lou Clinton, 1962 Red Sox
    RF: Reggie Jackson, 1973 A’s
    CF: Otis Nixon, 1991 Braves

    PH: Randy Bush, 1991 Twins
    C: Dan Wilson, 1996 Mariners
    IF: John Kennedy, 1969 Pilots
    OF: Reggie Jefferson 1996 Red Sox
    OF: Brian Buchanan, 2001 Twins

    P: Walter Johnson, 1913 Senators
    P: Mudcat Grant, 1965 Twins
    P: Dave Bush, 2004 Brewers
    P: Billy Pierce, 1956 White Sox
    P: Grover Cleveland Alexander, 1915 Phillies
    P: Mike Lincoln, 2008 Reds
    P: Jermaine Van Buren, 2005 Cubs
    P: Dummy Taylor, 1904 Giants

    Can you guess the theme to this team (Should be pretty easy…)? Can you suggest any improvements to the team that keep the same theme?


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    how did they forrest gump to "meet" nixon,jfk, and lbj?

    i watched the movie for the first time yesterday and was wondering how they were able to remove ly. dans legs when he really has legs. also how did they make it so that he was able to talk with people like kennedy and johnson and nixon when they were no longer alive. i read wikipedia that they used something with the pictures but how were they able to altet what thewy said if the never really "said" it

    thanks in advance


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    On the Road Again (possibly offensive to sensitive liberals)?

    I bought a new high-end car and returned to the dealer the next day complaining that I couldn’t figure out how the radio worked.

    The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

    "Watch this!" he said, "Nelson!"

    The Radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?"

    "Willie!" he said, and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers.

    Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson.

    I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I’d say, "Beethoven," I’d get beautiful classical music, and if I said, "Beatles" or "Stones" I’d get one of their classic songs.

    Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them. "A-s-s-holes!" I yelled.

    Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

    Damn, I LOVE my new car!
    The nice thing about living in the USA is, we can tell jokes like this and not get shot.


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    Has there been any players you didn't expect to perform as well as they have in the playoffs?

    I have a huge hatred for Jordan Staal, and will think he’s overrated no matter what, but he has shown some light in this postseason enough for me to give him kudos. Chris Osgood has been lights out. Doug Helm and Tyler Kennedy have been little speedsters with pure grit. Dan Cleary. Brent Seabrook. Marc Savard. Lucic. There are sooo many out there.
    Haha @ Bob.

    Yes. I think he’s well overrated. Just imagine the team had they picked Toews instead? Staal was never chosen to be this "great defensive forward". He was picked for his size and scoring ability, and he rarely uses or does either. You’re right. He’s a big dumb oaf who reminds me of Lurch from the Addams Family. When he did an interview after the game, he took out his mouthpiece, let out a groan, and said "Youuu rraaanngg?"


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